Bill Hicks joke

Based on not one, but several actual conversations I’ve had over the years.

Transcript

GIRL MONKEY	Ooh, little chilly tonight! I can see my breath!
MONKEY ANGST	You know what I like best about cold weather?
MONKEY ANGST	Watching all the smokers passing out 'cause they don't know when to stop exhaling!
GIRL MONKEY	Hey! That's a Bill Hicks joke! You stole that joke!
MONKEY ANGST	Stole? what stole? it was a quote! I was quoting Bill Hicks!
GIRL MONKEY	Quoting my ass. you didn't attribute it. there was no attribution.
MONKEY ANGST	Attribution? what is this, a peer-reviewed journal? this is a casual conversation!
MONKEY ANGST	Since when do you have to attribute quotes in casual conversation?
GIRL MONKEY	You were just trying to pass it off as your own!
MONKEY ANGST	I was not!
GIRL MONKEY	Yes you were. You were hoping I wouldn't recognize it!
MONKEY ANGST	Listen, I would never in a million years think you wouldn't know Bill Hicks.
MONKEY ANGST	The fact is, you're cooler than me in every way, and I knew I could rely on that fact. I knew you'd know where the joke came from, so I didn't think it needed any attribution!
GIRL MONKEY	Heh.
GIRL MONKEY	Nice try.
MONKEY ANGST (thinking)	Man, I wish I'd thought up that joke...

Monkey Law